Is it possible to become a master of love?

Short answer: I believe so, yes

Long answer…

We all need “love” right?

But is “it” exactly? That thing that has that word attached to it? People seem to feel it and express it and see it. Is it always a good feeling though? Or could it sometimes feel bad, would that still be considered love?

Well, I can say that the beginning of your journey to this mastery starts with taking care of yourself. We hear it all the time. “Love yourself”.

But what I think people mean when they say that is, know yourself really well. I remember asking a teacher in high school when do you know you’re ready to have sex for the first time with someone? Her answer was when you can have a mature conversation about the possibility of pregnancy and babies.

Which a teenager probably doesn’t want to hear or doesn’t even know how to implement that kind of advice. So instead of giving you something arbitrary, I thought about how I could simplify my understanding and knowledge for those who are young lovers in the pipeline about to embark on that journey and still full of the thrill, excitement and curiosity for ‘find their match’.

Before you decide to have sex with another person, be they whatever gender or identity of the day, first of all, know that each time you connect with another human using any parts of your senses, you must operate from a place of absolute respect. They are another being in this journey, and just as you like to feel safe and welcome and loved, so too does that other person, no matter how they present or what behaviour they showcase that might seem in opposition to your idea of ‘love’. Start from a place of respect in all your interactions will keep you in good stead for the rest of your life. But start with self-respect.

Why is it important to have self-respect? Because we are all still individuals and we make choices that navigate us through the collective consciousness at large. If you find yourself in a situation where you’re own life is at risk because of someone you have become intimately connected to, then you absolutely must put on your mask before you put a mask on others. In fact, relationships are quite like going scuba diving and it’s important to understand the risks and understand the basic operating ‘rules of engagement’ — other than the respect part which I have mentioned already — I would say that’s the price of admission. If you don’t respect people as equals, you don’t get to play.

The main difference between scuba diving and relationship diving is that the method changes for descending and ascending. In relationships, the ‘ideal’ approach is to descend slowly and ascend rapidly. Descending is analogous to deeper involvement, trust and openness with another. And ascending is essentially to do the opposite of all those things: withdraw, retreat and close off.

And that is the first known principle I have learned about navigating relationships and learning to love and be loved. More to come soon.